Guilt and Fear

by Angela
(Coquitlam BC Canada)

I have been doing a lot of healing using different modalities. I have realized that the root problem of the things that I am struggling with, e.g. weight, smoking, money is all based on a dual root involving both guilt and fear of being happy.

I am hoping that you will be able to direct me to which to address first or because this process is so quick, I can do one and then the other.

I am asking for the correct phrase to use to eliminate both from my personal inside history.


Answer

You list three problem areas you're currently struggling with -- weight, smoking and money -- as well as a belief that it may stem from guilt and a fear of being happy.

You can use EFT for weight loss on specifics like the foods you can't resist and the time of day or night that is a problem for you etc. but I would start with what you have identified and believe the root cause to be; guilt and fear of being happy.

When is your first recollection of feeling guilt and fear of being happy? Are there any specific events that come to mind? If there are, I would write those specific events down in a notebook and rate how intense they are for you on the 0-10 scale, thinking about them now, not as they were then.

Also make a note of any physical sensations and where they are located in your body and then list the emotions that are present (anger, sadness etc). Rate each one on the 0-10 scale (10 is as bad as it can be) because these are all aspects of the problem. This also gives you a way to measure your progress.

If there is a specific event that comes to mind, amend the set-up statements below to fit. If there is no specific event that comes to mind try the following set-up statement as you tap continuously on the karate chop point:

"Even though somewhere along the line I learned to feel guilty and fear being happy and I don't know why, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway.

Even though I'm convinced this guilt and fear of being happy is causing my weight, smoking and money problems and I'm sick of it, I accept myself and my feelings anyway.

Even though for whatever reason I feel guilty and fear being happy, I'm open to the possibility of being able to let that go now, and I love, accept and forgive myself and anyone else who had anything to do with this problem."

Next tap through all the EFT tapping points using the reminder phrase "guilt and fear of being happy" at each point. Do another round verbalising anything that comes to mind.

This is where you can vent by verbalising your thoughts and everything you're feeling. Then go back to your notebook and reassess your number for everything you wrote down.

Also write down anything that came to mind, even if it seemed unrelated, and work on that in exactly the same way. Just change the above statements to fit. Don't worry about whether you're doing it right. As long as you're tapping on the points and verbalising how you're feeling you should feel some relief or at least lighter afterwards.

The principles are exactly the same when using EFT for weight loss and its specific aspects like comfort foods etc.

When did you first put on weight?
What was going on in your life at the time?
What did you make it mean?
What void is the food filling?
What are your comfort foods and when is your first recollection of using food this way?

If you get into the habit of writing things down in a notebook it is easy to put together set-up statements for the issue you're working on, but remember to also list physical symptoms as well as emotions and rate the intensity between 0-10 so you can measure your progress.

This is just a place to start. See what comes up and work with it. I hope this helps.